Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
