I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My legs feel like baby dolphins
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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