Do you still have your period?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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