oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
