My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
