All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
