Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
