I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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