I heard we made out
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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