have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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