whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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