jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
