Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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