so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
