All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
