Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
