Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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