what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just high enough for therapy.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
