if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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