if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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