i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
