my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
