i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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