oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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