Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
