dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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