Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
