i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
What a dumb baby whore.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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