this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
