...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
