I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
