I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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