And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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