Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
