I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
