Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
