I'm gonna have a badass scar
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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