So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
