I'm gonna have a badass scar
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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