So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
