You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
