Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
