**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
