and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
