you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
