yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
