We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
