Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
