I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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