My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
