Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
