i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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