why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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